Ten Ways to Recapture the Cruising Life on Land

Excerpted from Cruising World Magazine, January 2002
Compiled by Darrell Nicholson

  1. Set your alarm for 3 a.m.. When it wakes you up, put on your foul-weather gear, run out to the front lawn, and have your spouse spray you with a garden hose while shouting, "It's time to reef the main honey!"
  2. For breakfast, have a cup of instant coffee and eat last night's leftovers.
  3. Call into talk-radio shows to discuss an approaching cold front and your plan for it.
  4. When the wind picks up, open the cupboards, scatter dishes and plates over the kitchen, and curse at yourself for not securing things below.
  5. Never dry your clothes completely.
  6. Drive back and forth in front of your house and debate with your spouse about where to park for the night.
  7. Run your lawnmower in your living room for several hours whenever the wind dies.
  8. Plug in 11 waypoints on your GPS for a trip to the dentist.
  9. Every two weeks, walk around the block carrying two full five-gallon jerricans.
  10. Spend an afternoon at the shopping mall haggling with clerks over prices.