Relationship Initiation
Electronic communication changes communication style in the initial stages of relationship formation in that individuals can maintain much more control over their self-description and representation. As a result, relationship initiation patterns are likely to be different in computer-mediated scenarios. According to social psychologists Sprecher and McKinney (1987), the most common obstacles to relationship initiation are traditional sex roles, shyness, and lack of confidence in one's appearance. In an online medium, because self representation is entirely within one's own control, some of these barriers appear to be diminished. Scharlott and Christ (1995) conducted a study of an online computer-mediated matchmaking service and found that relationship initiation patterns are indeed different in this medium. This matchmaking system allowed men and women to place personals and to respond to messages. Computer-mediated communication (CMC) systems were found to have effect on all three barriers to relationship initiation.
Sex roles.
In the CMC system, men were more likely to send messages to women than vice versa, but women were more likely to carry on a correspondence than were men. Adding to this analysis, Scharlott et al. (1995) notes:
The pattern of sending and receiving messages on Matchmaker (the CMC dating service) suggests that, generally speaking, men and women on the system employ different communication strategies. Most men seem inclined to maximize the number of users they contact, presumably to increase their chances of finding someone interested in a physically intimate relationship; most women, by contrast, seem inclined to contact fewer men and then try to establish more systeained communications. A significant minority of women, however, seem willing to contact a great number of men.For both men and women, the overall success rate of initiating relationships seems substantial, as 65 percent of users reported starting at least one friendship and 38 percent reported starting at least one romantic or sexual relationship through the service.Shyness.
Shyness proved to be an important variable in explaining how and why some people used the CMC dating service. In this study, half of the subjects placed themselves inthe high-shyness category and half in the low-shyness category. Seventy-four percent of the high-shyness users indicated that their main purpose in using the service was to find a romantic or sexual relationship, while only 46 percent of low-shyness users indicated the same goal. Many shy users are apparently using the CMC system to overcome shyness inhibitions in initiating relationships in face-to-face settings. Additionally, Sharlott et al. says, "The ability to communicate with others without revealing details about oneself enables the shier user to interact without fear of rejection. Moreover, as the questions about their personalities and fantasies reveal, Matchmaker enables these users to communicate in ways that in other contexts they might feel too socially inhibited to do."
Appearance..
There is a clear relationship between the self-ratings users gave themselves on appearance and their indicated purpose for using the CMC system. Of users who rated their appearance as average, only 35 percent indicated the interest to pursue romantic relationships, while of those who rated their appearance as very good or above average, 72 percent indicated the same interest. This disinclination to pursue romance may reflect a lack of self-confidence due to self-perceptions of appearance. Although self-reports of appearance may have had some effect on communication patterns, the most significant finding was that there was no significant difference in number of romantic partners across self-report conditions. Forty-three percent of users who rated themselves as very good or above average engaged in romantic relationships through Matchmaker, while 41 percent of those who rated themselves average did the same.
These findings indicate that CMC has implications for relationship initiation because it does alter communication styles and the ultimate results stemming from initiation. In regards to sex role, although men generally took the lead in initiating contact with women, a large minority of women (nearly 25 percent) sent messages to more than 100 men, far exceeding the percentage of men who sent that many messages. For this group of women, the barrier of sex roles seemed to have been non-existent; in fact, many may have felt so empowered that they freely indulged in their freedom from gender roles. It also appears. Furthermore, individuals who are typically too shy to initiate relationship find themselves more capable in a computer-mediated situation. CMC can thus serve to overcome the barrier presented by shyness. Finally, research shows that self-reports of appearance does not appear to correspond with the likelihood of engaging in a romantic relationship. Summarizing some of their conclusions, Scharlott et al. says:
In a text-based system like Matchmaker, appearance becomes less important in determining relationship-initation success than in face-to-face contexts such as bars or even other mediated relationship-initiation avenues such as video-dating services. A text-based CMC system like Matchmaker encourages people to get to know something about one another before they meet, as opposed to allowing them to make summary judgments based on appearance that may preclude a romantic relationship.Although there are some positive effects that arise from the CMC system, there are also some potentially negative consequences that may result from increased online interaction. First, individuals may become overly reliant upon such systems for initiating relationships, leading to less development of face-to-face initiation skills. Individuals will have less incentive to overcome shyness if they can use an online system, even though it may be more beneficial to address the issue of shyness directly. Second, the ability to control self-representation can be abused. The lack of face-to-face communication makes it much more difficult to develop trust.In considering both the positive an negative implications of CMC on relationship-initiation, it appears that technology can be used to assist people in experiencing initiation without the traditional barriers associated with it. Concurrently, technology ought not be viewed as a panacea for issues such as shyness and low self-esteem, which require separate attention.